The Problem with Free Stuff
We’ve all heard there is no such thing as a free lunch. Because the problem with free stuff is it’s not really free.
We previously discussed the concept of how much money a person needs to retire. If a person wants to achieve their dreams and live their best life, they will be required to become well educated (both within and outside of the classroom) on many topics and make a lifetime of little, but important, good choices. Periodically, a big opportunity comes along that can change our lives. Many of the choices we make daily, however, are smaller ones that we sometimes don’t even realize the importance of. And then there are the times that a series of small poor choices, perhaps made over a long period of time, catch up to a person, and it will take a big decision and a lot of hard work to overcome and start again. That’s what we are going to talk about today.
I have a family of rabbits living in my yard. I'm not sure; it may be several families, but I know they consist of many rabbits of many generations and possibly more than one family. I want to tell you about my friends, the rabbits, or as we affectionately call them, the bunnies.
The Beginnings of Free Stuff
I have an elevated porch in my backyard built by the original owners, who lived in the home for 30 years. Soon after we moved in January 2021, I was wandering around in the backyard and noticed that something had dug under part of the deck. I quickly concluded that it was rabbits. Well, they were cute, and we enjoyed watching them run around, play, and eat the grass or low-hanging bushes from inside our house, and all was well. That spring, when I planted my garden, the problems started. You see, it turns out that rabbits like young tomato, pepper, and basil plants and chew them all to the ground in one night.
Well, that was about $40 worth of plants and a day’s work, so I was not too happy with them. No worries, I’ll just buy a 24” fence and put it around the garden, that will do it. So, I went out and bought about $100 worth of sturdy fence, posts, and wire ties, along with new vegetable plants, and expected it all to be good. Well, now, you see, the fence had about 2” x 3” holes in it, and I figured it would keep them out. NOT! I watched them squeeze right through it! The next day, the little…I can’t say the word…ate all my plants again. So off I go to buy about $35 worth of chicken wire to wrap around the sturdy fence and also new vegetable plants. That would be the third round of vegetable plants. Being the smart person you are, you have determined, like I did, that my tomatoes, peppers, and basil would be very expensive that year. Watching the rabbits through the window had become a source of anger and was no longer fun.
Just when I thought I had solved the problems, I learned they were now digging under the fence(s). Grrrrrr! More fence, more money, and more time. This time, a special fence that was designed with tangs that penetrate the ground up to 6 inches to hinder digging critters was what I needed. Fortunately, they only ate my basil plant to the ground and a few tomato leaves before I caught them, and they grew back. This latest round of improvements solved the problem, and my garden has been rabbit-free now. It’s a pain to bend and climb over the fence, but at least I get my tomatoes, peppers, and basil. Now we just watch the rabbits sit outside the fence and stare at my beautiful plants. Sometimes, the little…I can’t say the word… will eat portions of my tomato plants that grow through the fence, but it does not hurt the plants, and I just let it go. I have enough to be frustrated with watching the news, than to let a little chewed-off tomato branch upset me.
More Free Stuff, Day One
So, let me get to the gist of why I am writing this post. Because the rabbits live under my porch, they have a nice place to live. Part of the porch is under cover, so they don’t even have to get wet when it rains. If they come up next to the house, there is some residual heat. So, they stay warm and dry all year long. Oh, an added benefit, and it’s a big one, is that they are safe from the hawks, owls, and grey and red foxes that we have roaming the neighborhood. Well, most of the time anyway, but I’ll get to that later. If you or I could live somewhere like this, it would be called free room. Free room is defined as lodging provided to a guest without any financial obligation. A 100% subsidized place to live. We would pay nothing for it. I’m sure we might even like it, not complain about it, and take good care of it. We would appreciate it, right?
The rabbits seem to enjoy the free room because there are many more of them every spring. Little ones, don’t you know. Geez, where did they come from? Besides the free room, the rabbits get free meals in the form of all the grass they can eat. This is called free board. If it is winter and the yard is covered with snow or ice, they eat my evergreen bushes. So, as you doubtlessly figured out by now, the rabbits have pretty much all they need in life, provided absolutely free and without obligation from me. A warm, safe place to stay, an all-you-can-eat buffet, and all they must worry about is making little rabbits and not becoming dinner to any of the previously mentioned predators. Oh, and then there’s this. While I cannot prove what I am about to tell you, logically it seems true. My backyard is somewhat small, and my porch is large with multiple rabbit entries. The rabbits are never more than 30 feet from a hole in the porch and safety from any predators. Typically, they are never more than 10 feet from an entry because they just don’t venture far, and they have a virtual smorgasbord just outside their front door. Because the rabbits are not living in a field somewhere and have quick access to safety, I’m guessing they become complacent and do not develop the sense of awareness, strength, and speed that is needed to live in the wild. What likely happens is that instead of being safer, given their subsidized housing, it is actually more dangerous for them as they lose that instinct to be always aware of their surroundings. I’m unsure of the ratio of bunnies eaten in the wild versus bunnies eaten in suburban settings, but as I mentioned, I lose most of mine throughout the summer. Remember Maslow’s hierarchy of needs? Because rabbits don’t have any higher-level needs, these rabbits of mine have everything they need and literally live their lives in a circle of only a few feet for only two purposes: Eat and breed.
You would think they would be content. But no, that was not enough. They wanted my garden plants as well. But I fixed that.
More Free Stuff, Day Two
So fast-forward four years to this spring. We are enjoying the bunnies playing in the yard. My garden is safe, and just as sure as the bunny population grows in the spring, by fall, it is down to one or two. I know this by watching how many or few bunnies I see every day and by the clumps of fur I find periodically in the yard that one of the predators has left behind.
One day this spring, we made a pretty large carrot dish and wondered if the bunnies might like a treat of carrot peelings. We threw the peelings on the porch instead of the yard, where the rabbits usually stay. Because of this, they had to take a bit more risk and come up on the porch to get the carrot peels, and we, in turn, could watch them more closely. We wondered if they would come up on the porch for the carrot peelings; it seems like a fair tradeoff. Well, heck yeah, they came up on that porch! And it was not just one rabbit, it was three coming after the large pile of carrot peelings. There was plenty for everyone, but guess what happened? That’s right; the alpha male fought the others off, and they had to stay it in the background and watch him eat the entire stack by himself!
This was so much fun that the following evening (they typically only come out at dusk and dawn but sometimes they mess up and then they are dinner for one of the predators), I threw a couple of carrots out to see what they would do. Same thing, they fought over the carrots, the dominant male won, and he enjoyed the spoils all to himself. We, in turn, enjoyed watching this all play out.
Free Stuff, Day Three
The next night, we went about our business, and I did not put any carrots out. Well, guess what happened? By now, the little bunnies had not only gotten used to getting not just free room and board but fine dining as well, and all they had to do was perform for their masters by coming onto the porch to eat. This night, as you can see in the picture, the bunnies worked up the nerve to come all the way up to the door and expect the free stuff.
The True Cost of Free Stuff
You’ve probably figured out by now where this fun but true little story is going. Just like with the rabbits, for us humans, free stuff is not free; it comes with obligations and costs. I could give you an itemized list of all the costs, but I think you probably know most of them. The biggest costs, however, are that accepting free stuff results in a loss of self-esteem, self-confidence, and drive to success. We learn not to appreciate free stuff but to expect it. Over many years, I’ve observed that people who get stuff for free often do not even take care of it, as it has no value to them because it was not earned. Free stuff causes us to become lazy and complacent, and getting back on our feet after becoming dependent on free stuff is extremely difficult. For many people, it is impossible and can result in what is called generational poverty (Note 1). Note: I realize that there are circumstances in which these resources are a critical lifeline to some. Discussion of that realm of “free stuff” is not what we are talking about here. I hope this conversation is taken with the good intent in which it is written, that is, as a motivation to reflect on one’s situation and, if needed, influence change.
I took free stuff. Twice. Once, when I was a poor young airman, I accepted a Pell grant to help with my technical school. Then, when I was unemployed once, I received unemployment. Both were helpful to me and my family, but I admit to feeling a bit like I could not help myself, and both times were a hit to my self-esteem. That said, as previously mentioned, I’ll be the first to state that some people need assistance, and I would never want to deny those who do. I’ve mentioned that my daughter worked in the Tulsa Day Center for the Homeless, and I learned of the amazing work they, along with generous donors, do for those who need a hand up. Yes, there are a few handouts, but the real help is to those who are just temporarily down and out and need someone to lift them up.
We all get the lesson here. If we want to achieve our dreams and live our best lives, it’s best to buckle down and do it ourselves. After all, we’re not just rabbits, we’re intelligent human beings and nothing is worse for our self-esteem than feeling like we can’t help ourselves. Inside, we all want to take care of ourselves, by ourselves. That’s all for this week!
Waiting at the door for free stuff
What’s in it for Me
Often, breaking out of a rut is a matter of a change in thinking. I can think of few better resources to offer than Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill and How Rich People Think by Steve Siebold. Click on the links in Notes 2 and 3 to purchase these fantastic books and change your life! If you need additional motivation, purchase the book The 5 Second Rule (Note 4)
Call to Action
Purchase and read the recommended resources. Ponder if any personal habits need to be changed. If so, embrace the concepts of The 5 Second Rule by Mel Robbins. If you or someone you love and care about is getting a handout (free stuff), consider how that can be converted to a hand up.
Recommended Resources
Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill, How Rich People Think by Steve Siebold and The 5 Second Rule by Mel Robbins. See Notes 2, 3 and 4 for links.
Up Next
Factfulness.
Notes
Please note that as an Amazon Affiliate, I may earn a small commission on the sale of any of these recommended resources.
Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill: https://amzn.to/4iOXl7Q
How Rich People Think by Steve Siebold: https://amzn.to/3RKTSfm
The 5 Second Rule by Mel Robbins: https://amzn.to/3YtmIoj