Where Have All the Husbands Gone?
This one is for you, men. I hope you’ll pay attention. Or it may be for the wives too, so, you know, they can show it to their husbands. Because men don’t always get the point and need to hear it. Yes, I said it.
An off schedule post
This is an off-schedule post. That means something different or interesting is going on that warrants paying attention to. So, my friends, read on to find out more!
Preamble
It’s important that you read this post to the end, because the important takeaway for you is in the summary section. The read is well worth your time; it’s informative, albeit a bit longer than I’d have liked. I trust you will enjoy the story.
If you have been following my blog posts, taken my course, or read my book (Note 10), you likely will remember how I advocate developing a life plan early in life so that throughout your life, you will do exactly what you want, when you want, and not be tied down or beholden to others for living as you choose (Read: You don’t have enough money). Today, I discuss but one example of the wisdom of that philosophy and how it has stood the test of time, the most important measure of the value of most anything.
Introduction
I’ve written my book (Note 10), developed the course, and authored these blogs because I see not only a developing problem in this country but also an actual crisis for many people. Not all people, mind you, but a lot. What I’m talking about is a crisis of not being able to live one’s life in the manner one chooses. Surviving, but not thriving. Typically, this occurs because when a person was young, no one taught them what was needed to be, in the manner they defined, successful, in their financial, professional, and personal lives. What I’m going to write about today is one such occurrence, and it’s my goal to get you, the reader, thinking and acting, if needed, with intention and a sense of urgency. Let’s see what I’m talking about. Oh, and if you decide you need some help, then that’s what we do at Afterburner Success Partners!
A river cruise story (well, a commercial really…)
Diane and I took another European river cruise this past March, our third. If you have never taken a European river cruise, I might suggest you seriously consider it, as I have found that these cruises are probably the best vacations we’ve ever taken. So much so that we have a fourth scheduled! What makes them so fun is that everything is planned for you, and you see and experience many things. You are very well taken care of. Yes, very well.
Now, before you go off on me and tell me that I must not realize how expensive those things are, I’d like to make a pitch to you. You can certainly spend a lot on these cruises, and you can have the best of everything: Extremely well-equipped ships, the best meals, and the best wines. But here is what I’d like to recommend. Do your research (Diane has done an amazing job with this part!) in advance and get on the mailing or email lists of various cruise or vacation companies. Over time, and once you become educated, you will start to see emerging patterns. Certain times of the year are more expensive, certain cruise lines are more and, more importantly, the vacation packages go on sale. Yes, sometimes at dramatically reduced prices. These often sell out in hours, so you have to know a deal when you see one. And here is what I’ll tell you: Generally speaking (that means most of the time, not all the time), the river boats all go to the same places, dock at the same docks, and do most of the same things. Caveat: Some of the more expensive packages will include activities and experiences that are really quite nice and above and beyond those on the more reasonably priced cruises. This is where the research comes into play. And where the prices can be different. Once you start investigating, you will see what I mean.
And then again, you can go early or stay after to do more, or take many of the optional tours and activities, should you desire. I would like to suggest you check out Gate 1 Travel (Note 1) or Vacations To Go (Note 2). We’ve used both with excellent results. I’m particularly pleased with Gate 1 because, although we get amazing deals, I really don’t see any corners being cut. Also, check out TripAdvisor (Note 3). Not only do they provide what we’ve found to be very accurate ratings of various experiences, but they also offer a wide variety of tours in many locations across Europe and, indeed, the world. Everything from a half day and up. We’ve used them extensively with superb results. The tour guides are well-informed and friendly, and they provide excellent service at a very reasonable price.
We’ve done a lot of travel on our own, and that’s a great option, but today I’m pitching river cruises simply because of the value and that everything is done for you. I hope you’ll consider a river cruise. Really, that’s the whole point of what we are doing at Afterburner Success Partners: trying to ensure this is an option for you. We want you to thrive, not merely survive. I think you get that by now.
OK, yes, I know, I’m getting to the point, Sheesh…
Our most recent river cruise is commonly referred to as the Tulip Cruise. Because, you know, well, you go to see tulips. In the Netherlands, of course, just outside of Amsterdam. Trivia: You will hear the Netherlands and tulips sometimes referred to as Holland. Holland is a province in western Netherlands and is further divided into Noord-Holland (North) and Zuid-Holland (South). As such, Holland tulips come from Holland, a province in the Netherlands. There, now you know. Of course, there is Holland, Michigan, which has its own Dutch heritage and Tulip Time Festival. Second bit of trivia: Why is Amsterdam called Amsterdam? Because it is a city located on the Amstel River, which was dammed in the 12th century. No kidding, check the link in Note 4.
The ship sails from Amsterdam, just outside Amsterdam Central train station, which connects directly to the Schiphol airport and is about a 20-minute ride away. The ship sails south down the Amstel River, weaving past Rotterdam and The Hague, stopping at Antwerp, Belgium, and ending in Ghent. From there, you can take an optional tour to Bruges, a delightful town. Then it’s back to Amsterdam with additional stops and tours. Once in Amsterdam, the highlight of the cruise is a visit to the massive Keukenhof Botanical Garden in Lisse, a town outside of Amsterdam. Click on the link in Note 12 and be prepared to be in awe. While the flowers are the attraction, the real business is digging up the bulbs in the fall and shipping them all over the world. Now, you don’t need to be an American entrepreneur to appreciate that if you can make money by having guests spend money to see the beautiful flowers and then sell them the bulbs too, then that’s pretty smart. Along with our travel partners, we spent over $400 for bulbs that will be shipped to us in September.
Oh, and while you are in Belgium, you really need to have some of the Belgian frites (fries). Notice I did not say French fries. Why? Because these delicious twice-fried potatoes were born in Belgium, not France, as commonly thought. Check out the link in Note 13 to learn the real story. And they are eaten with mayonnaise, not catsup. That’s right, only Americans (well, mostly) eat catsup with fries.
Prime tulip season in the Netherlands is about the last two weeks of April, but runs from mid-March to mid-May. There are many other varieties of flowers in bloom at Keukenhof under a massive greenhouse, including the most stunning orchids you have ever seen. Now, if you are thinking that the tulips you may plant at home don’t last that long, you would be right, but they do in the Netherlands because they’ve figured out how to do it. Let me tell you how.
Going back to my previous paragraph about river cruise pricing, this is how you can save some money and still have a wonderful travel experience, not just to see tulips, but for any vacation. The trick in the Netherlands to getting tulips to stay in bloom for two months is to plant some tulips at a shallow depth, some at a medium depth, and some at a deeper depth. As the ground warms, the first tulips, the shallow ones, will grow and bloom, then the medium depth, and finally, the deepest planted tulips will bloom. And so, the schtick for you and me is to go on the first cruise of the season in mid-March to beat the crowds, save a lot of money, and still have a good experience. The downside was it was a bit cold for a few days, often in the low 40’s at night, but we had 4 days that were warm and sunny. It rains a lot there, so that is a factor. One day, we had rain, snow, sleet (they called it hail), and sun in the same day. Still, for part of the time we wore shorts and T-shirts, and at other times mid-weight, waterproof jackets. In short, the weather was not an issue for us to enjoy tulips, have a wonderful vacation, and save money. Oh, don’t worry, we’ll take other vacations when the weather is better as well.
So, furthering the theme of saving money while still having a great experience, another nice thing about riverboats is their small size. They typically have a capacity from about 120 to 180. Our cruise had 54 passengers and 40 crew. If you think that is a wonderful ratio, and the service was fantastic, then you would be correct.
Oh, wait, here’s the point, finally
So as I observed the crowd of 54 passengers, I was immediately struck by the number of unaccompanied women. Typical river cruise passengers consist of couples in their mid 50s and up, and this one was no different. On our previous cruises, we’ve had just a few unaccompanied passengers (all women) who fit in perfectly because of their good nature and willingness to step outside the box. The ladies on this cruise did the same, and they had a good time.
Here is the point. As I looked about the crowd and took a straw poll, I noticed that somewhere between 25 and 30 percent of the passengers were unaccompanied women. Why is that, I wondered? Then I asked myself, “Where have all the husbands gone?” Perhaps you are wondering too, maybe even forming an opinion as to why.
Now we get into the meat of this post. As I’ve written previously, we’ve been to a lot of funerals in the past two years of friends and acquaintances of ours that we would want to go to show our respect for their families. In almost all cases, these funerals have been for men. Men in their 60’s or 70’s. A few older. Yes, too young to be passing along, I believe. I can very easily count about 6 widows who are close to us. These would be widows whom, when their husbands were alive, we would do things with. We would enjoy each other’s company, our time together, and the memories we made. And now the husbands are gone.
So my observation of the unaccompanied women on our recent cruise was that they were likely widowed. They could be divorced, which is likely as well, and, for the purposes of this post, means the same thing: they are not enjoying their time with their husbands. Perhaps they were never married (Note 8), which is increasingly common. I applaud these women for getting out and enjoying life. The bottom line of this post, however, is that spending time with the one we love, our marriage partner, is a desirable and healthy choice that is beneficial to everyone involved (Note 9). Yes, read this and all the other notes. They are quite valuable.
You see where I am going with this, don’t you?. If you are married, it is a good thing, and you should take time to enjoy your time together as partners. While you can. Before it’s too late and you are gone. If you follow the principles outlined in the Afterburner Success Partners course, book, or blog posts, it will help you achieve the success in life that gives you time to enjoy the pleasurable things in life. Of course, I’ve also advocated for the value of a simple life, where life can be enjoyable through simple pleasures, but that does not mean they will come by themselves. Either way, my encouragement to my male readers is to be intentional in every action and to enjoy things with your wife while you can. Before it’s too late. But I already said that didn’t I? Multiple times. So you get the point. Because it’s what I do.
Summary
I can wrap up today’s post and summarize it with a few quick bullet points:
Life is short, especially if you are a hard-charging, Type A male (Notes 5, 6). It goes by faster than you think, and one day, if you are not very careful, it is over, and you missed the most important part of the ride. While a large part of my writing and teaching revolves around building wealth and being successful, I end the course and my book speaking of the more important topics of balance and enjoying the ride along the way. No one has ever seen a hearse followed by a U-Haul truck. You can’t take it with you. Take time to stop and smell the tulips (Note: Technically, I should say roses because only some varieties of tulips will smell good. Many mass-produced tulips have no smell).
Your wife wants to spend time with you and make memories. Together. Yes, she does, and you know it. Take the time to enjoy activities together while you can. Don’t wait so long that she must go on river cruises by herself. And here’s another thing: Your children want you to have a great marriage, too. Yes, it’s important to their well-being and leads to better outcomes for them also. Have you ever thought about that? There’s plenty of data on the value of a good marriage to a child’s well-being (Note 7). This action alone, of happy marriages would likely solve many of the problems we have in society. Yes, I said that too.
Marriage was designed by God for our own good. It’s part of His plan for us for our good and the good of our children. “Rejoice in the wife of your youth” (Proverbs 5:18), “He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord” (Proverbs 18:22), “An excellent wife, who can find? For her work is far above jewels, the heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life (Proverbs 31:10-12), “Husbands, love your wives…” (Ephesians 5:25).
Whether it’s a river cruise, a walk in the park, or a lazy weekend afternoon, the fruit of all your hard work is the time spent with your lifelong companion. Enjoy the experience together, while you still can. Don’t screw it up. If you do, then you will have regret, something else I speak of extensively. Regret later in life is a horrible thing to have to experience. Or, possibly, you will not be around to experience it all. And those are sobering thoughts.
That’s all for today!
Let’s help our friends and loved ones, shall we?
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Keukenhof Botanical Gardens
Afterburner Success Partners
What’s in it for Me
Taking time to stop and smell the tulips is what life’s all about. If that is not readily apparent to you, then it’s time for a wake-up call. Consider this post that call.
Call to Action
If you do not have a plan, develop one now. If you do, perhaps it’s a good time to review it. Purchase the book by clicking on the link in Note 10. Take the Afterburner Success Partners Course.
Recommended Resources
Buy and read Achieve Your Dreams: A Complete Guide to Live Your Best Life by David Giustozzi (Note 3). Take the course, it’s a very inexpensive investment in yourself.
Up Next
Back to regular posting schedule.
Notes
Please note that as an Amazon Affiliate, I may earn a small commission on the sale of any of these recommended resources.
Vacations To Go: https://www.vacationstogo.com
TripAdvisor: https://www.tripadvisor.com
Amsterdam, Wikipedia: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amsterdam
Life expectancy, National Center for Health Statistics: https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/life-expectancy.htm
Why Men Often Die Earlier Than Women, Harvard Health Publishing: https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/why-men-often-die-earlier-than-women-201602199137
The Top 10 Reasons Why Marriage Benefits Children, Marina Elelman.com: https://marinaedelman.com/top-10-reasons-why-marriage-benefits-children-2/
The Never Married, A New Normal, Psychology Today: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/magnetic-partners/202305/the-never-married-a-new-normal
Make Time for Your Spouse — Couples That Spend Time Together Are Happier Individuals, University of Minnesota: https://twin-cities.umn.edu/news-events/make-time-your-spouse-couples-spend-time-together-are-happier-individuals
Achieve Your Dreams: A Complete Guide to Live Your Best Life by David Giustozzi: https://amzn.to/3IxEFgy
Everyday Cooking for Everyday People Like Us, by David Giustozzi: https://amzn.to/437OhVQ
Keukenhof Botanical Gardens: https://keukenhof.nl/en/
In Belgium, the Fries Are Never Wimpy (Sorry, America): https://tastecooking.com/belgium-fries-never-wimpy-sorry-america/