Who’s Your Daddy? A Belated Father’s Day Post
When you’ve heard this question, it was likely arrogant or boastful. Maybe mean or derogatory. Today, we discuss a completely different meaning. Of someone who cares for you, who advises you, who helps you succeed. Just like your daddy.
An off schedule post
This is an off-schedule post. That means something different or interesting is going on that warrants paying attention to. So, my friends, read on to find out more!
Introduction
First things first. Father’s Day was a few weeks ago, but I did not post that week. I don’t want to let that important day pass without comment, and I hope you’ll excuse me for being late. Better late than never, you know. I hope you were able to honor your father on his special day. If you were not able to or perhaps are not in regular contact with your father, I hope you will reconsider. As I just mentioned, better late than never. You will be happy you did, and you never know what good can come of it.
If you are a child, your daddy is one of the two most important people in your life (your mother is the first). In society, fathers are often less appreciated than mothers, but they play an extremely important role in children’s lives. We are learning more and more about the positive impact fathers have on their children and, of course, the negative impact when they are not part of a child’s life. I would feel like I left something out if I did not acknowledge the fact that many children grew up without fathers present in their lives or fathers who were just not good fathers. That makes me sad.
So, we’ve passed Father’s Day, but I hope you were able to honor your father. If your father has been absent from your life, I again encourage you to please reconsider. Perhaps he is just waiting for you to make the first move. I recognize that in some cases it may not be possible. I get it. Just think about it, if you can.
As important as fathers are to children, young or old, what I want to talk about today is your father figure at work and in life: your mentor. Your mentor does not have to be a man; it could be a woman. Let’s dig in a bit.
Who’s your daddy, an overview
Have you ever played pick-up basketball? Played a wicked game of cards with family or friends? Got beaten at any type of competitive activity? If you have, depending upon your opponent, they may have taunted you afterward by pointing at you and asking/saying, “Who’s your daddy?” When used in this context, it could be meant to brag, to put you down, or to show dominance.
My mother always used to say, “More truth is said in jest than at any other time,” and that’s probably something worth thinking about. Mom was almost always right, and I’ve found this particular point to be true throughout my life. It’s probably true here. On the other hand, among close friends, it’s nothing more than a joke or meant to be playful. Playful or arrogant, you probably know which it is.
The reality is, the term is kinda ugly and not very nice, although I’m guessing many people don’t really know its true meaning or that it dates back to about 1681. Yes, that’s right; it’s not a modern-day cultural expression at all. Click on the link in Note 1 to learn more. After reviewing this meaning, I’m guessing that if you’ve used the term in the past, you may not want to again.
A little good-natured agitating among friends is fun, but those who wish to put you down are, perhaps, not people you should be hanging around. Throughout our lives, people will come and go, and I might suggest you really only want to surround yourself with those who raise you up rather than put you down. Just think about this for a minute.
“You have to have a Godfather.”
I was one of those children blessed to grow up in a two-parent household. Because I was raised Catholic, I knew what Godparents were, and I had two sets. Click on the link in Note 2 to learn more about what a Godparent is, if you don’t know. But this is not the type of Godfather I am referring to.
Of course, you’ve seen the movie The Godfather, right? I’m not talking about this kind of Godfather, either, of course…(See a famous scene by clicking on the link in Note 3).
As I said, I grew up with a good father, and even though I moved away when I joined the Air Force, I called him every week and we would talk about a lot of things. Like airplanes. We both love airplanes, so we talked about airplanes a lot. I sought his advice on pretty much everything. My father has been gone for over 13 years, and I still miss him. If your father is still alive, I hope you make the effort to appreciate him. I understand if you’ve been hurt and it may not be possible; just consider if it is.
After I left the Air Force, I was so happy to get a job with American Airlines. It was, and is, a great company, and I knew that I could have a great career, which I did. One day, before I first reported to work at American, my dad and I were talking about careers and such, and he told me, out of the blue, “You have to have a Godfather.” Well, of course, I immediately thought that’s not the same as Godparents, is it? I don’t think he means a Godfather like Michael Corleone, does he?
No, what he meant was I needed a mentor. And that’s what we want to discuss today because it’s very important to your professional, and thus financial and personal success.
What is a mentor
My father’s advice that day was some of the most important of my life and career. When one thinks of a mentor, they think of someone in a professional capacity. I was fortunate to have a wonderful mentor at American Airlines, Bill Fey, who guided and helped me throughout my professional career. He even guided me in my personal life. If you know Bill, you know what a caring and indeed wise person he is. Everyone wants and needs people like this on their team.
But there can be all kinds of mentors. By definition, a mentor is an experienced and trusted advisor (Note 4). A person who cares for you, not quite like your father does, but in a special way. Remember this: when a person agrees to be your mentor, they are putting their own credibility on the line, so the relationship between a mentor and mentee is, by nature, special.
Mentors are caring people who support our development, whether personal, professional, or even academic. Mentors act as coaches or guides, offering advice and directing our growth. An important aspect of a good mentor is helping us avoid mistakes that could hurt us. Here are the basic kinds of mentoring:
Informal mentoring: Finding a mentor through your own connections
Formal mentoring: Programs that you sign up for and that may focus on business, academics, or something more personal
Peer mentoring: Mentoring offered between peers, often used for new members of a team or for people within an organization to mutually support each other through common issues
Group mentoring: Meeting as a team with a common goal rather than a one-to-one mentoring relationship. Members typically have a range of seniority.
Virtual mentoring: A mentoring relationship that takes place virtually or remotely due to differences in location
Reverse mentoring: Mentoring of a senior person by a junior individual, frequently on technology issues and tools (Note 5)
Why we need a mentor
Let me try to be succinct about the importance of a mentor because I want to either convince you that you need one, affirm your choice to have one, or encourage you to be one. Consider these reasons;
The proper mentor(s) are typically more experienced and have advanced further in the professional ranks than you have, so you can learn from someone who went before you.
If your mentor works at the same company you do, and I encourage you to have at least one mentor who does, they, being more advanced in their professional career, see and hear things you may never know about. They can present you with opportunities and guide you in realizing opportunities to advance your career.
Your mentor can prevent you from making mistakes that hurt you. Major career decisions should be run by your mentor for advice and input. I have to say that I’ve been prevented from hurting myself and my career with the help of my mentor.
There is another type of mentor discussed in one of the most influential books ever on personal success: Napoleon Hill’s 17 Principles of Success (you can get your own copy by clicking the link in Note 6). This type of mentor is described as a Mastermind Alliance, which consists of people or groups with similar interests to yours who can help you advance. Mind you, this is a two-way relationship and really just networking. Membership in the Chamber of Commerce, Rotary, or any civic or business group allows you to get to know others outside your workplace are good examples.
I trust you understand what I’m saying and advocating for here.
Other types of mentors
Some of these were covered in general terms earlier, but I want to highlight other specific types of mentors for you:
Spiritual-As you are aware, I often discuss the importance of our faith and spiritual life as part of our lifetime goals because, frankly, nothing else matters unless this aspect of our life is a priority. Like our business mentors, I recommend that we have spiritual mentors. A spiritual mentor, like a business mentor, can take different forms, and some are more structured than others. Here are some examples: Your Pastor. A small group leader who may or may not be discipling (a faith-based term for mentoring) you in your spiritual walk. Men-to-men and women-to-women relationships that hold us accountable. There is even Biblical guidance for mentorship (Notes 7 and 8)
ECCLESIASTES 4:9-10 “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.”
PROVERBS 27:17 “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.”
ROMANS 15:14 “I myself am convinced, my brothers and sisters, that you yourselves are full of goodness, filled with knowledge and competent to instruct one another.”
Athletic-I think we all understand the value of a good coach or coaches in ensuring we are our best.
Academic advisors- Teachers, and counselors are valuable people who help us throughout our academic careers and can even help us secure a professional position. And don’t discount the importance of parents in one’s academic career. After all, it all starts at home.
Self-Help Groups-Organizations such as Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous operate with a system of mentors and mentees where recovered members guide and counsel those on their path to recovery. What an outstanding example of helping our fellow man or woman.
Are you a mentor?
As important as it is to have a mentor, it’s equally important to be a mentor. Being a mentor can be as simple as a father teaching his child to mow the lawn, a mother teaching her daughter to sew, or a manager guiding a new hire. We even touched on an interesting term above, reverse mentoring, where a younger person mentors an older person. Think of a younger, more IT-savvy employee teaching someone a new IT system.
Summary
Do you have a mentor or mentors? If you do not, I might suggest strongly considering asking a trusted, respected, and accomplished person to mentor you today. It may be formal, it could be informal, and you may not even bring up the word mentor; it may just happen, as it did with my father.
That’s all for today!
Let’s help our friends and loved ones, shall we?
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Fathers and Mentors: Important People In Our Lives
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What’s in it for Me
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Call to Action
Honestly consider if you need to make some changes. Or, perhaps you must want to learn a few things. Purchase any of the books noted below. Take the Afterburner Success Partners course. Tell a friend.
Recommended Resources
Buy and read any of the books mentioned in the notes below.
Up Next
Back to regular posting schedule.
Notes
Please note that as an Amazon Affiliate, I may earn a small commission on the sale of any of these recommended resources.
Who’s Your Daddy, Wikipedia: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Who%27s_your_daddy%3F
What is the point of Godparents? focus.org: https://focus.org/posts/what-is-the-point-of-godparents/
You Don’t Ask Me With Respect: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7j_3Secty54
Mentor: Oxford Dictionary
What is a Mentor and Why You Should Have One: coursera.org: https://www.coursera.org/articles/what-is-a-mentor
Napoleon Hill’s 17 Principles of Success, Napoleon Hill: https://amzn.to/3GDzPNJ
What is a Mentor and Why Do I Need One?, gocorps.com: https://gocorps.org/blog/2022/10/what-mentor-and-why-do-i-need-one
The Four Types of Mentors, gocorps.com: https://www.gocorps.org/blog/2022/10/4-types-mentors?gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=23044506230&gbraid=0AAAAADGsZfJrRhSyBEqJ4WSqYYGrXjUit&gclid=Cj0KCQiA49XMBhDRARIsAOOKJHZItfFAb0oW5quKmiqDgCU9d2qed3B4bg5OCm7aTD93czoQ9rwYXowaAnDUEALw_wcB
Achieve Your Dreams: A Complete Guide to Live Your Best Life by David Giustozzi: https://amzn.to/3IxEFgy
Everyday Cooking for Everyday People Like Us, by David Giustozzi: https://amzn.to/437OhVQ